


Healing

by MissMariaReynolds



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Mention of abuse, Modern AU, Sharing a Bed, past abusive relationship, there's a coffee shop, unhealthy thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6439585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMariaReynolds/pseuds/MissMariaReynolds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria runs away from James and right into Eliza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Protect Maria Reynolds 2k16. Honestly she was an uneducated victim of abuse, she is not a villain and I'm really trying to show that in the way I'm writing her POV.

Maria looked out the window with dull eyes. The world was gray and bleak through the rivulets of water, and it had been raining for days. She lightly touched her fingertips to the glass. It was cold against her skin, and it felt like the inside of her chest. The trees were bare and quivering in the wind and she was reminded of herself. She concentrated on breathing steadily.

Suddenly the door behind her burst open. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was, a relieved sigh cut through the silence and announced the presence of one Eliza Schuyler. The cold in her chest thawed slightly, and she felt something dangerous swoop low in her stomach. Maria turned to face her and attempted to put on her best smile.

"I'm so glad it's warm in here," Eliza said, unwrapping a scarf and tossing it on a nearby chair. She then slid off her sky blue peacoat, darkened from the rain, and hung it up carefully. Her hair, usually so silky and with never a strand out of place, was plastered to her face. A laugh bubbled up past Maria's lips, and it felt foreign, too loud.

"I must look like a drowned rat," Eliza said with a smile. She moved away from the doorway and into the kitchen. "Want some tea?"

"I'm good, thanks," she murmured. She wasn't used to being offered things, nobody gave to her so freely as Eliza. In truth, Eliza herself was a gift that kept on giving, whether it be a laugh that sounded prettier than bells or a kind, soft look. Nobody looked at Maria the way Eliza did, like she was glad that she was around. Everyone hated her. She was poor and stupid, she never found a talent or interesting hobby, she had a terrible sense of humor, everyone thought she was some dumb ugly slut. Or at least, that's what James used to say. She still couldn't tell what was true. Eliza laughed at things Maria said, and she complimented her all the time. Eliza made her feel good about herself, made her happy when the whole world made sure that she was miserable.

Eliza had literally picked her up off of the street when things went south with James. Not that they had ever been good, she knew, but when she finally mustered the courage to take her things and run. He didn't like that. He came home early that night as she was just finishing packing her bag–it wasn't much but it was hers, all the things that James had bought her was still in its place. He started shouting at her, calling her all sorts of terrible things, and she was crying and she was so close to coming back to him, just to make it stop, when he hit her. He'd hit her plenty of times before but that was it, she had to make sure that was the last time. She ran past him and didn't look back.

The only problem was that she had nowhere to run to, so she walked the streets as if she had a destination. She remembered that she had laughed to herself, a short and harsh sound that broke past chapped lips. She recalled what her mother had said to her when she originally ran off to live with James, that she'd end up out on the streets. Her laughter caught in her throat when she realized that she couldn't even go back home. Her mother died years ago, without her, and James hadn't let her go to the funeral. Her eyes filled with tears and the street looked blurry, people slid into pastel smudges of color. That's when she bumped into her. Maria had already been weak, she hadn't eaten in days, she must've looked as terrible as she felt–she stumbled and fell onto the grimy sidewalk. Vaguely she had felt the sting on her bare knees, but she couldn't find the strength to immediately stand.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Maria heard from above her, issued rapidly and sincerely. She had squinted up, confused. This was New York City, nobody apologized for bumping into someone. She told the stranger as much, and to her complete surprise, she laughed.

"Well, then I guess it must be hard to believe that I've lived here my whole life." The stranger said. She held out her hand and Maria accepted it. Once she was on her feet she could really see the girl. She was gorgeous in a quiet sort of way. She had a lovely, heart-shaped face, kind eyes, and beautiful dark hair. Her clothes looked expensive, a baby blue dress and a stylish jacket, even with shoes that matched. Maria felt like a mess, she knew she must look pathetic in comparison. All she had on was a battered red dress and a ratty leather jacket, scuffed boots that had seen better days. The stranger looked genuinely worried as Maria stared openly and failed to say anything. However, she could now see Maria clearly. The gaunt eyes, the hollow cheeks, and undoubtedly the ugly bruise that marred her face.

"Are you okay?" She repeated, eyes widening with concern. Maria blinked for a moment. It was that question again, so odd and so rarely directed at her. She decided that she was too exhausted to lie.

"No," she replied.

"Can I buy you dinner?" The stranger asked, that strange worry heavy in her beautiful voice. Maria had thought that it sounded like music. She quickly thought about the consequences of this person buying her dinner and came up with none besides being unable to pay her back. But a full stomach...that was hard to come by even when she lived with James. She nodded slowly. The stranger looped their arms together and pulled her along, and it felt terrifyingly right. She could practically feel positive energy flowing through the girl’s skin. She knew this stranger was safe, somehow.

"I'm Eliza, by the way. Eliza Schuyler." Her voice was so steady and even, like nothing in Maria's life. She never wanted her to stop talking.

"Maria," she murmured.

They had dinner and Maria tried her best to eat politely, even though she was ravenous. Eliza made casual conversation the whole night and didn't try to ask where she got her bruise, or how she ended up on the streets. She asked her what movies she liked, what kind of music she listened to, questions that were completely meaningless and somehow meant the world to her. By the time Eliza had payed, she offered to take her home. Maria found herself agreeing without thinking first.

Since then Maria spent her days in Eliza's spacious apartment. Sometimes she read poetry that she didn't always understand, but thought was pretty. Sometimes she looked through cookbooks and baked so that Eliza would come home to something sweet. She cleaned, too. Maria didn't want to feel useless, since she already felt bad for staying so long. Eliza never complained once, not even when Maria would wake up screaming and crying. Eliza didn't chase her out when she did that. In fact, sometimes she would hold her and whisper words of comfort into her hair. Like she cared. Eliza never lost her patience with her, either. After a week or so Eliza had begun to ask subtle questions about her situation, and all she received were the most vague of answers. Never lies, but words that always firmly changed the subject. Lately she had found herself wanting to share what happened with Eliza. She trusted her, and Eliza deserved to know.

Maria turned her attention to the present, watching as Eliza bustled around making her tea. She threw her hair up into an effortlessly messy bun as the water boiled.

"Did you eat today?" Eliza asked. She came over to sit on the windowsill beside her. Maria could smell the sweet scent of her, delicate yet heady, something distinctly floral. It was the same smell that clung to the fabric of the sweater she was currently borrowing.

"Yes," she lied. Eliza smiled, pleased, and Maria felt a twinge of guilt. She often had to choose between lying or disappointing Eliza. She could handle a little guilt if it meant making Eliza happy. Eliza patted her arm and stood, making her way over to the stove just as the kettle began to whistle.

"So, what did you do today?" Eliza asked. Maria didn't know why she asked every single day. James never did, and she does nothing anyway.

"I read," she said. "And I vacuumed and dusted the living room."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, you know," Eliza said gently.

"I know," she said. "I just...I don't want to feel like a burden. I want to help." She sounded so eager, it almost made her cringe. It made Eliza's eyes go soft, like they always do when Maria makes her sad.

"I'm sorry," Maria said quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you." She felt a familiar bubble of doubt and agitation rise in her stomach, the kind she felt whenever she thought she did something wrong. And that brought frustration. She just wanted to do something right for once.

"No, no, you didn't upset me, please don't think you're any kind of burden, Maria." Eliza insisted. She sounded so sincere. Maria nodded slowly. She like how she said her name. James would snap it as if he were calling a dog. Eliza said it like it was a precious thing, something beautiful and worthwhile. She wondered why she was always comparing the two, perhaps because they were such polar opposites, but it was odd because it's not like they played the same role. James was her lover, then her abuser. Eliza was...she wasn't quite sure. Perhaps a friend. She hoped that they were friends, not just peculiar temporary roommates.

"Maria?" Eliza was saying. She pulled herself out of the fog.

"Yeah?"

"You looked a little lost," Eliza said with a frown.

"I think that's because I am a little lost," she replied softly. She took a deep breath, now was as good a time as ever. She paused and collected herself. She had to do this. "I think I owe you some answers."

"Please don't feel like you have to explain–" Eliza began, moving closer.

"No, I want to." She bit her lip before continuing. "I ran away from home when I was eighteen years old with a boy that I thought loved me. That was six years ago, and it turned out he didn't love me at all." She gave a bitter laugh and shook her head. "He wasn't a good man, you see. He beat me, cheated, but I could never find the courage to leave. I felt worthless. I thought nobody else would care for me." She realized that tears were rolling down her cheeks but she went on. "Obviously I did end up leaving. You found me a few days later, actually. You saw me. I was a mess, and I still am, and for the life of me I just can't understand why you took me in like you did, I–" She stopped, choking off a small sob. Eliza, dear sweet Eliza, grabbed hold of her arms and pulled her nearly nose to nose.

"Maria, I am so sorry for what you've gone through, but I want you to know that I care about you so much. I never want you to think that you're some charity case, I invited you here to heal because I can see how much potential you have, what an amazing person you already are. You are not worthless. You're clever, and you make me laugh, and you're beautiful and kind. I look forward to coming home because I know you'll be here."

Maria gripped at Eliza and pulled herself against her, wrapping her arms around her neck and burying her face in her hair. She couldn't possibly guess how long they stayed like that, but she never wanted it to end. She felt safe, and so relieved that she had finally told Eliza the truth. Something that she thought died a long time ago was filling her chest, a warmth that was almost unfamiliar.

"Do you really think that?" Maria asked eventually, sniffling and pulling away slightly. She needed her to, more than she needed food and water, more than she needed oxygen in her lungs.

"Every word, Maria," she said firmly.

For the first time in what has felt like a lifetime, her face split into a genuine smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Maria's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to continue this. I'm not sure how regularly I'll be posting chapters but I really enjoyed writing these two! At this point I have the basic plot outlined, so we'll see where it goes!

Eliza made Maria feel strong. Ever since she had told Eliza what had happened to her, she would catch her giving her this look. Maria almost dared to call it admiration. It made her feel warm inside, and pleased. She also found herself starting to think differently after living with Eliza for the past few months. She was starting to like who she saw in the mirror, believed that maybe she really was beautiful and clever and funny. She started wearing makeup again and doing her hair, even if she wasn't planning on leaving the apartment. She felt more human that way.

Maria had stopped cleaning the house while Eliza was at work. She only washed the dishes that she used when she made cupcakes earlier that day. They were lovely and had perfect peaks of frosting on top. Maria was quite proud of them, and she was excited for Eliza to try one. They were her mother's recipe that she used to make every year on her birthday. That's why she made them, she was turning twenty five today. She hadn't mentioned it to Eliza that morning because she didn't want her to get her a present. She already gave her enough as it was–a home, clothes, her beautiful smiles, even a purpose.

Eliza had helped her sign up for a few online college courses. She was currently learning about poetry and biology. She found that she loved science, knowing the how's and why's of the world. It interested her and she was doing well. Poetry was more difficult. It was harder for her but she enjoyed reading them, especially ones about nature. She understood the ones about pain best and longed to understand the ones about love. Maybe she was beginning to.

She heard the door open, and Eliza immediately called out, “Something smells wonderful!” Maria smiled and left the kitchen to meet her.

“I made cupcakes,” Maria explained, before saying quietly, “It's my birthday, actually,”

“Your birthday?” Eliza said. Her eyes went wide. “Happy Birthday! I'm so sorry I didn't get you anything!” Eliza crossed the room and gave her a tight hug.

“It's okay,” Maria assured her as she pulled away. “You already give me so much, I didn't want to make a big deal or anything.” Eliza frowned slightly.

“But it is a big deal,” she said. “You're twenty five! It's your birthday!”

“I haven't really celebrated my birthday in the past few years,” Maria explained with a shrug. “James...didn't.” She wasn't sure how to continue without getting upset, or upsetting Eliza. James didn't like the idea of a day being dedicated all to Maria, he hadn't bought her a present since her twenty first birthday. That was also the last time she called her mother. She begged Maria to come home and Maria hung up on her. She never forgave herself.

“Maria?” Eliza said, pulling her back to the present. She fixed a smile to her face.

“We can just have dinner,” Maria said. “And the cupcakes.”

Eliza returned the smile. “As long as that's what you want.”

They ordered sushi from Maria’s favorite place and Eliza told her about her day. Eliza was a kindergarten teacher and had a cute story about her kids without fail. Maria wished she could see them. She had always liked kids, always wanted a few. James hated them and made sure that she never got pregnant. Maria wondered idly what it would be like if her and Eliza had kids. She snapped out of the thought abruptly, surprised. Why would she think of that? Why would they ever have kids together? They weren't in a relationship, Maria didn't even see Eliza that way. Well, maybe she did, but she couldn't help it. Eliza was the brightest thing in her life, the brightest thing she's seen in years. Eliza made her feel happy and safe, stable. Maria shook herself from her thoughts and turned her attention back to Eliza as she finished her story.

“Anyway, I can't wait to try those cupcakes,” Eliza was saying. “What kind are they?”

“Mocha,” Maria answered. “Family recipe.” She felt sad making them alone, but it would all be worth it to share them with Eliza. “We can eat them now, if you want.”

Eliza nodded and stood, collecting their plates and moving to the kitchen. Maria thought she looked very cute in pajama shorts and an oversized college sweatshirt. The sleeves covered her hands and that made her think that the shirt might have originally belonged to someone else. Soon she returned, holding a plate of cupcakes, with a candle in each. Maria felt a childish sort of excitement fill her stomach. She hadn't done this in so long. Eliza sang to her and Maria laughed, because it was just them, but Eliza never did anything halfway. She blew out the candles and wished that she could feel this happy all the time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria takes a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short! I promise the next one will be longer.

Maria felt the warm breeze move across her face like silk, and closed her eyes. She inhaled the sweet scent of grass, and smiled. She had made a habit of walking in the park every day now that spring was in full effect. She liked watching how the tiny pastel buds grew into bigger colorful blooms every day, how the world was a palette of lush greens and vibrant reds and purples and yellow. She especially liked the patch of peonies that she passed. When she told Eliza that she had been coming here she had bought her a book about flowers and what they mean. Peonies symbolized healing. Maria remembered that not too long ago she connected with barren, brittle branches. Now she liked to think of herself as a bud, something that has the potential to become something beautiful and thriving.

Sometimes she stayed in the apartment because she was too afraid to leave. In the back of her mind she was always afraid, terrified that she might see James in the city. She knew that he walked close to the park on his way to and from work. Maria had absolutely no idea what she would do if she saw him. Perhaps she would turn the other way and walk as fast as possible and he wouldn't see her. Maybe he would see her before she saw him and he'd shout at her, insult her until she felt awful and worthless all over again. Then again, maybe she could finally confront him, tell him everything he did wrong and all the good things that had happened after she had left him. It was always an open question, what she'd do, and she never wanted it answered.

Today she had browsed the bookstore near Eliza’s place, bought herself an iced caramel macchiato, and tried to name all the flowers she saw. She could almost recognize them all by now. At the coffee shop she applied for a job. She was already nervous–it had been awhile since she had a job, it's been about a year and a half since the beauty store she worked at closed. James had been angry, even though it wasn't her fault. After that he had treated her worse, saying that she was dead weight, that she should be grateful that he was supporting them both. She suddenly felt a little less nervous. She would have a purpose, she wouldn't be dead weight to Eliza, she would have her own money and could buy Eliza flowers and books like she buys for Maria. Things were on the cusp of looking up. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria gets a job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like Laurens and Lafayette! I thought they would get along. Also don't ask why the two canonically richest characters work at a coffee shop...

Maria didn't even wait for Eliza to make it completely through the door before bursting out, “I got a job!”

“Congratulations!” Eliza beamed and immediately ran over to hug her. She smiled into her hair and momentarily savored the touch. When she pulled away she saw that Eliza was still smiling. “The coffee shop you mentioned, right?”

“Yeah, right by the park,” Maria said. She felt giddy. This was her chance, her fresh start. She had already met some of the staff when she asked about the job. There was a boy with wild curls and millions of freckles that formed constellations across his cheeks,  
and a tall man with a striking face and a strong French accent. They both smiled at her when she asked about the job. She told Eliza as much.

“I'm so happy for you,” Eliza said. She looked as excited as Maria felt.

“I'm happy, too,” Maria said softly.

 

Maria felt her stomach flutter as she walked to the coffee shop. She wasn't actually working, this was her training day, where she learned what it meant to be a barista. She was already well-versed in the ways of cash registers and customer service. She found that she had missed working at the beauty shop. The manager had been kind to her and the job was an escape from James.

The streets weren't as crowded since it was a Sunday morning–she had to come in before the shop opened. The sky was a pale lavender and the air was not yet warmed by the sun. The brisk air cleared her head and she felt like today would be a good day.

  
The door was locked when she tried to pull it open. She hesitated only a second before tapping her knuckles on the glass, feeling pleased by how confident it sounded. She waited. Soon a freckled face appeared in front of her and the door was pulled open.

“Hey! Maria, right?” He allowed her to pass through the door. It smelled delicious, something buttery and yeasty.

“Yes, and you are…?” She felt bad for not remembering his name until he stuck out his hand and gave an easy smile. He reminded her vaguely of a puppy.

“John Laurens,” he said. She accepted his hand, and he had a surprisingly firm handshake. “Anyway, I'll be showing you the ropes. C’mon.” He walked away and she followed him behind the counter. It was strange seeing the place empty, there was always a long wait. That meant high stress, but she could deal with customers.

“Lafayette never shows up on time, you'll get used to it,” he told her as he began piling baked goods into the display.

“The French guy?” she inquired.

“Oui,” he said. “I hope you know conversational French.” Maria laughed, hoping it was a joke.

  
In the next hour, Maria learned a few things. First, the name and use of every fancy machine they had. Second, John Laurens was gay. Three, Lafayette was the most dramatic man she had ever met. He showed up forty-five minutes after she did, with coffee from another store in hand and a complaint on his lips.

“John, you will never believe the line I was just in,” he bemoaned as he swept by the counter, before pausing as he spotted her. “Ah, oui, la viande fraîche.”

She turned to John. “I should've mentioned that I do not speak conversational French.” Lafayette laughed and sipped his coffee, looking her up and down in a way that she decided was definitely not predatory, but a little judgemental. He gave a nod and slid behind the cash register.

“Don't worry, he likes you,” John stage whispered. Maria smiled. She could survive here.

  
The first thing she said when she got home was, “Do you speak French?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria meets Alexander.

Maria was getting the hang of the coffee shop. She was fast, efficient, and polite to the customers. Sometimes she even flirted with them, if she felt like it, though she was never interested. It was more of an old habit.

She stepped in front of the register to greet a customer. The guy just missed the rush. He was cute, but looked overtired and more than a little worn out. She saw familiar interest spark behind his eyes when he saw her.

“Are you new?” He asked before she could say anything.

“I just started this week,” she replied, leaning forward. He didn't say anything for a while, watching her for a little too long, until she finally asked playfully, “Can I get you something or are you gonna stare all day?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” he said quickly. “Large iced coffee, three shots of espresso.”

“Someone means business,” she said with a smile. She picked up a cup and a pen. “Name?”

“Alexander,” he said. His eyes moved quickly over her. There wasn't much to see, she was wearing that college sweatshirt of Eliza’s, the one that was too big. His eyes caught on it and his eyebrows shot up. “Where did you get that sweatshirt?” he asked suddenly.

“I borrowed it from a friend,” she answered, confused.

“That stain on the sleeve,” he said slowly. “It's ink.” She blinked at him. “That's my sweatshirt.”

“You know Eliza?” she asked, perplexed.

“I–yeah,” he said. He looked a little wistful. “We dated in college.”

“Oh.” Maria didn't know what to say. So this was Eliza’s type, then. A little scrappy, smart if he went to the same college as Eliza, and definitely male. “I'm gonna make your coffee now.” She escaped and began pouring, and heard John rush by her.

“Alex!” he said happily. “I didn't see you come in! Same as always?”

“No, I'm covered,” he said. Alexander sounded as dazed as Maria felt. She was wearing a stranger’s sweatshirt. A stranger that dated Eliza. And kissed her, and talked to her, and knew everything about her, and has made her laugh and smile and cry. She wondered why they broke up as she finished his coffee. When she turned back he was whispering something to John, whose eyes were slowly widening. They both stared at her as she handed him his coffee.

“Thanks,” he said. “So, uh, how's Eliza?”

“She's great,” Maria said with a polite smile.

“Are you two together?” Alexander inquired with feigned politeness. He must be terrible at poker, he looked like he was absolutely dying to know. I wish, she thought.

“Just friends,” she replied mildly. That dark interest returned to his eyes and John must have seen it too, because he looked distraught.

“So where are you heading, Alex?” John asked loudly, looking a little pained. Maria felt bad for him. Alexander’s eyes turned to him.

“Heading to work, you know that,” he said. However, he got the hint and stepped away from the counter. “I'll see you later, John. And it was nice meeting you, please tell Eliza I said hello.” He waved a little awkwardly and left.

“You're wearing his sweatshirt,” John said lightly. To her he looked a little longing.

“That was bizarre,” Maria replied.

“He was totally into you,” John said, and she knew he was trying to sound casual. It was almost cute.

“Not interested,” she sighed. Maybe she would've gone for him in another situation, maybe if she was still with James and was desperate. But there was Eliza. “Besides, you're hopelessly in love.”

“That is not true,” he began, scandalized. Lafayette poked his head out from the back.

“C’est vrai,” he said seriously.

 

 

Maria was covering apple slices with peanut butter when Eliza came home. She looked down at the ink stain on her sleeve and bit her lip.

“Eliza, I met someone you know today,” she called casually. Eliza entered the room and looked at her, curious.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Alexander? He said hi.” Eliza’s expression changed rapidly. Her eyes looked a little wistful, just like Alexander’s when he heard her name. Maria felt something hot rise in her until Eliza’s mouth set in a firm line. She shrugged.

“How is he?” Eliza asked. She sounded a bit tired.

“Okay, I think,” she replied, taking a bite of apple. “The guy I work with is definitely in love with him.”

“He has that effect,” she said. Something in her tone made Maria uneasy. “Who?”

“John Laurens,” she said.

“He and Alexander were friends in college. I didn't know him well but they had always had some kind of romance. That's part of the reason why we broke up, actually.”

Maria blinked. “Small world,” she said.

“Very.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some derogatory language is used by James. Just a heads up.

It began with a nightmare.

Maria woke up in the wrong place, a bed that was sickeningly familiar. It was definitely not Eliza’s couch, it was the hard, thin mattress that she and James shared. She bolted upright and looked around, and there he was, sitting in the ratty recliner in the darkest corner of the room. His eyes seemed to pierce through her, so mean and hard, so devoid of life and warmth. She realized with fear and confusion that she was naked, and tried to pull the thin sheets to cover herself. They disappeared from the bed.

“What am I doing here?” Maria asked. Her voice shook and it echoed in her ears.

“You never left,” James replied. His voice cracked like a whip through the air and she tried to curl in on herself.

“No, I'm not here,” she said. She knew it, she’d had this dream so many times before. What came next, though? She couldn't remember. James stood and moved to the edge of the bed.

“Maria, come,” he snapped, like he was calling a dog. She shook her head and moved back against the pillows, but he grabbed her wrist and twisted.

“Don't touch me!” His fingers tightened and dug into her skin, he was pulling her against him, crushing her to his body. She began to cry. “Leave me alone, please, don't!”

“Are you gonna be good, you stupid whore, are you done playing house?” He was shaking her by the shoulders. She was crying, she felt so exposed and wrong, this was all wrong, she had been free.

“Answer me!” She felt his nails on her arms, he was scratching her skin, it stung and she just wanted it to end.

“No, no, no, no,” she sobbed. “Get off, please, just stop.” She closed her eyes. He shook her again.

Suddenly she heard a different voice, faint and soft. It was her name.

“Maria, wake up!” Louder this time. “Maria, please, you’re scaring me.” She tried to open her eyes, and it was like coming up from water–slow, agonizingly slow. Finally she managed. The scene fell away, James was gone, and she saw a different figure standing over her.

“Eliza?” she choked out. Her breath came out ragged and she felt tears staining her cheeks. “What…?”

“Oh, thank god you’re awake!” Eliza said with a relieved sigh. She reached over and turned on the lamp beside the couch. “Maria, you were screaming.” Her eyes were so full of sadness and worry as they watched her carefully. She felt guilt and embarrassment wash over her.

“I'm so sorry I woke you up,” she managed. “It was just...a dream. I think I get nightmares when I'm alone.” That used to happen when she was a kid, anyway.

“Don't apologize, Maria,” Eliza said firmly. She paused, thinking. “Come on, you're sleeping with me tonight.”

Maria stared at her, before saying quickly, “I didn't mean–”

“Nope,” Eliza said, standing and holding out a hand. “Non-negotiable, you're not sleeping alone.”

She allowed herself to be pulled up from the couch and led to Eliza’s room. It felt surreal, having Eliza’s warm hand in her’s, being gently laid down on a plush bed by someone who she cared for deeply. Terror was forgotten, fading to an anxious sort of happiness. She felt Eliza stretch out beside her, and slowly wrap her arm around her waist. Maria’s heart seemed to grow wings in that instant, and take off in her chest.

“Is this okay?” Eliza whispered. Her breath ghosted across the back of her neck.

“This is perfect,”she whispered back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria sees James :(

Maria was walking home from work and her shoes felt sticky on the sidewalk from the vanilla syrup that coated the bottom. Earlier that day John had dropped the bottle and she hadn't seen it in time. It didn't matter, she could clean them later. She looked up at the darkening sky, where the clouds seemed to form rosettes of violet and velvety blue. She thought it was beautiful.

She was still watching the sky when she heard it. It was the voice like stone, the voice that made her blood run cold and her heart halt in her chest. Her legs stopped working and she froze midstep.

"Maria," he drawled from behind her. She whirled around and set her jaw, praying that he didn't see that she was already starting to shake. This wasn't a dream. This was happening. This was happening.

"What do you want, James?" she said stiffly. Her entire body was screaming for her to get away, fast.

"I just wanted to see how you've been doing," he said innocently, shrugging nonchalantly and taking a step closer.

"I'm great," she replied shortly. Despite her best instincts, she turned her back on him. In a flash a large hand was wrapped around her forearm and she was spun around, inches from his face. His teeth were bared.

"You don't get to walk away from me again," he said in a dangerously low voice. She tried to yank her arm away but his fingers dug in harshly. She cried out; there would definitely be bruises.

"Get off me," she snarled, surprised by her own voice, its ferocity. His grip loosened in surprised and she pushed him away by the chest. She didn't pause to watch him stumble, she just ran in the direction she came from.

She was panting heavily by the time she reached the front of the shop. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest and she turned her head, seeing a figure in the distance jogging towards her. She pulled the door open and nearly fell through, locking it quickly and stumbling to the bathroom. She barely made it before she lost the contents of her stomach. Distantly she heard the door open.

"Maria?" someone asked tentatively. She couldn't tell who it was, because her ears were ringing too loudly. All she knew was that it was too gentle to be James. She remained on her knees until her body stopped trembling.

When she stood and exited the stall both John and Lafayette were standing by the sinks, eyes wide with confusion and worry.

John asked, “Are you okay?” in the same same moment that Lafayette burst out, “What happened?” Her chest still burned from running and she felt strands of hair sticking to the cold sweat on her face. She wondered if she looked as feral as she felt.

“I don't–” she gasped, still short of breath. “I saw–” Her body jerked when she heard a series of loud bangs on the front door.

“Don't let him in,” she said, hearing the fear in her own voice.

“Who?” Lafayette asked. His eyes studied her carefully.

“Ex boyfriend,” she managed. John nodded resolutely and left the bathroom.

“We’re closed!” she heard him call through the glass.

“I know she's in there!” James yelled back.

“No one’s here besides me,” John said. “Leave or I'll call the cops.”

There was a last bang before John returned.

“Nasty guy,” he said cautiously.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “He knows I work here, he knew when I was leaving. He must have been watching me.” She felt sick again. “He's probably waiting outside.”

“We can take you home,” John offered quickly, placing a hand on her arm in comfort. She felt a sharp ache at the touch and flinched. His arm flew back to his side and he gasped.

“Oh my god,” he said quietly. She looked down, and sure enough her arm was marred by purple marks. They reminded her of the sky outside. It didn't seem very pretty anymore.

“Can I get a ride home?” Maria asked. She sounded small. Frightened. She hated it, she hated him, she hated how he ruined everything in her life. Tears began to well in her eyes, but she was determined to not let them fall.

“Of course,” Lafayette said. “I'll get my car.” He hurried from the room.

“I'm so sorry, Maria,” John said quietly. She met his eyes and saw suppressed rage. With a dull sort of wonder she realized that he cared about her.

She was ushered out the door and straight to the car, after John scouted the block. She didn't speak during the ride, she simply leaned her head against the cool glass and tried to take deep breaths.

“Do you want me to walk you in?” Lafayette asked gently. She shook her head and thanked him for the ride.

Climbing the stairs to the apartment felt like an Olympic feat. She was exhausted. Maria opened the door and slipped in quietly, hoping to make it to the bed without Eliza spotting her. John and Lafayette were already worried about her, she didn't want to upset Eliza too. Aparently she wasn't quiet enough; Eliza poked her head through the kitchen door.

“You're home late,” she said. Her eyes roved over Maria’s face intently, like she was processing information. “What happened?”

Maria couldn't take it. She burst into tears and ran to Eliza, clinging to her like her life depended on it. She didn't care about the ugly sobs racking her body, or the fact that she was probably soaking Eliza’s shirt. She tried to concentrate on the soothing circles Eliza was tracing across her back, how her arms were so welcoming and warm around her. Maria marveled at how easily Eliza gave her affection, how quickly she doled out comfort. Maria allowed herself to be held until her eyes ran out of tears to shed, until her breathes matched Eliza’s deep and even ones. Finally she pulled back.

“I'm so sorry, Eliza, I saw–I saw James.” She looked down and wiped roughly at her cheek.

“Did he hurt you?” Eliza asked. Her voice was steady, like the calm before a storm. Maria held up her arm and heard Eliza suck in a harsh breath. Maria raised her eyes and saw absolute fire in Eliza’s. “I hope that he burns,” Eliza all but growled. Maria stared at her in wonder.

“He knows where I work,” Maria said. Fear returned, and she felt miserable. “What if he comes in?”

“He won't,” Eliza said like it was a fact. “I know a lawyer. We’re getting you a restraining order.”

Eliza took her hands in her’s, and Maria somehow managed a weak smile. She nodded. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria sleeps in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and hopefully sweet to counter the angsty sad chapter before this.

Maria woke up on a soft, plush mattress. A familiar sweet scent surrounded her like a warm blanket, and she found herself smiling before she even opened her eyes. She could feel Eliza’s arms wrapped around her, one thrown over her waist and the other at her side. She savored the feeling of the way their legs were perfectly entwined.

They had been sharing a bed ever since the nightmare. The two fell into an easy routine. They would eat dinner together, sometimes they cooked together, sometimes got takeout. Then they would watch tv, or Maria would do her online classes, or she'd listen to Eliza play the piano. Then they would get ready for bed together. It felt incredibly domestic, brushing teeth side by side and sliding into the same bed, turning off their lamps at the same time. Then Eliza would come up right against her and fall asleep. Maria was almost scared by how good she had been sleeping lately.

She never wanted to leave their bed, but a glance at the clock on the bedside table told her that Eliza's alarm would go off in a few minutes at 6:30. Maria didn't technically have to get up until 8:00 but she'd occasionally wake up with Eliza, just so she'd be able to eat breakfast with her and enjoy the sight of her adorably mussed hair. The difference between the two was that Eliza was a little more alert in the morning, while Maria needed a cup of coffee to be able to fully appreciate the sight of chipper Eliza. Sometimes she sang while she made them pancakes and it was the most beautiful sound in the world. Every once in a while Maria was affectionately bullied into performing a duet or two. Maria's favorite was when the two sang "No Scrubs." However, Eliza preferred songs from musicals.

Maria was pulled from the memory when the alarm sounded. It was piano, a pretty sound the first few times. Eliza had an immediate rage response to it and slammed her hand on the alarm before it had rung for over five seconds. Maria snorted and rolled over, stretching.

"Good morning," Eliza said as she slid from the covers. "Are you getting up with me?" Maria contemplated this.

"Maybe later," she replied with a lazy smile.

"Coffee will be waiting," she assured her before exiting the room.

Maria closed her eyes. Just a few more minutes. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria meets Angelica and gets a restraining order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how I was going to include Angelica but I knew I wanted her in here, so I decided that she would be a lawyer. I hope that's okay!

The lawyer that Eliza knew turned out to be her older sister, Angelica. The ride to her office was quiet, and she felt anxiety buzz in her system. She was extremely nervous to meet her. Eliza was the sweetest person in the world, but she was doubtful that her sister would be so accepting of a girl that was literally picked up off the street.

As they were walking up the steps to the building, Eliza grabbed her hand. "Don't be nervous," she said, reading her perfectly. She gave a gentle squeeze and let go to pull the door open. Maria already missed it.

The office was spacious, with expensive dark wood and big leather chairs. Along one wall was an enormous bookshelf, and behind the desk sat a beautiful young woman. Her sharp eyes lit up when she spotted Eliza and a wide smile split across her face.

"Eliza!" she said happily. Her eyes turned to Maria and narrowed just slightly, moving quickly as if she was assessing her. She felt a little exposed under her scrutiny, but Angelica's gaze became friendly again. She held out her hand. "And you must be the famous Maria," she said with a knowing smile. Her handshake was firm and businesslike.

"Famous?" Maria asked. She looked over to Eliza and found her with faintly pink cheeks.

"I told Angelica a bit about you," she said a little stiffly. She shot a look at Angelica before adding, "Just that you live with me and require a restraining order."

"Don't worry," Angelica breezed, looking a little too pleased. "Very good things. My sister thinks very highly of you."

Maria stared at her for a moment. She had never even considered that Eliza talked about her. She wondered if there was much to say, and was more than a little confused by Angelica's suggestive words. She didn't have long to ponder them because Angelica was motioning for them to sit.

"I spoke to the judge and got you the forms," Angelica began, shuffling a few papers and sliding them across the shining desk. Maria accepted them with a shy smile and looked to Eliza She gave an encouraging nod.

They made short work of filling out the forms with Angelica helping. It seemed that she was slowly warming up to Maria, she answered all her questions thoroughly and with a kind smile. Something in the way Eliza occasionally beamed as they conversed told her that Angelica wasn't this friendly to just anyone. She wondered what that meant.

  
By the time they left the sun was setting, as the sky was a lovely palette of pale pink and warm orange. Maria felt strangely empowered; soon James would never be able to bother her. She almost wished she could see his face when he got served, the very thought brought a grin to her face.

"You okay?" Eliza asked her when they were in the car.

"I'm fantastic," Maria replied with a smile. She grabbed Eliza's hand without thinking, and didn't let go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria hears the full story about Eliza and Alexander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Maria and Eliza will actually get together soon, but for now have some awkward interaction between two past lovers.

Maria came in early to work. It was her first time opening the shop without John or Lafayette to help, and she was excited to be doing it on her own. There really wasn't much to it. She came in, restocked the display shelf with pastries, and wrote the special of the day (lemon scones, she decided), then unlocked the doors and flipped the sign. She liked the way the weak sunlight shone through the glass, reflecting off in a pale gray-yellow. The first customers were starting to roll in when John arrived. He greeted her with a tired wave.

It was another fifteen minutes before Lafayette came in, again with coffee from another store.

“Why don't you just make one when you get here?” Maria asked with a laugh as she finished off a vanilla bean frappuccino. She called the name and turned to him.

“It is too early in the morning for questions,” he said after a pause. She assumed that meant he didn't really have an answer and moved away to greet the next customer.

“What can I get for–Eliza?” Eliza beamed at her and waved.

“I came to see you at work!” she said excitedly. “Look, you have an apron and everything!”

Maria felt heat rising in her cheeks for no reason. She smiled back and preened a bit until John came over.

“Eliza, hey,” he said. “Haven't seen you in a while.” Her smile slipped a bit but her eyes remained friendly.

“John!” she said. “It's great to see you.” Eliza looked around and her eyebrows shot up. “And Lafayette, hello!” He gave a charming smile and stood.

“Comment allez-vous mon cher?” Lafayette asked pleasantly.

“Je suis très bon,” Eliza replied smoothly. Maria couldn't lie–that it was a little attractive.

“College friends?” Maria inquired. She really only knew bits and pieces of the story.

“We know each other through Alex,” John explained, before furrowing his brow and glancing at the clock. “Actually, he’ll be coming here any minute.” Eliza’s face remained impassive, and Maria respected her for it.

“An iced tea would be great, actually,” Eliza said. “Then I'll be on my way.”

“You’re about to have the best iced tea of your life,” Maria said with a grin, turning to grab a cup. That's when she heard the tell-tale ring of the bells as the door opened. She glanced up and saw Alexander, still looking tired and a little scruffy. Eliza pressed too much cash into John’s hand and stepped away from the counter, ducking her head a bit. It didn't work. Alexander looked over and did a full-body double take.

“Eliza?” he said. She straightened and turned to face him, smile a little too fixed.

“Alexander, hi!” Eliza said pleasantly. Maria poured the tea and covered it as fast as possible.

“Eliza, here's your tea!” she called. She reached across the counter and accepted it, but didn't take her eyes away from Alexander.

“How are you?” she asked. Alexander stepped closer and shrugged in an almost boyish way.

“Still working for Washington,” he said. “Got promoted. And you?”

“I teach kindergarten now,” Eliza said proudly. Alexander gave a wide smile.

“You always wanted to do that,” he said. “I'm happy for you.” He definitely looked it. Maria didn't like just how happy he looked.

“Anyway, I was just leaving,” Eliza said, taking a step back.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “It was–it was great seeing you, Liza.” Maria felt her stomach tighten at the nickname. She didn't have the right to be jealous but she recognized it immediately.

“You too, Alexander,” she said. “Take care.” Eliza met Maria’s gaze. “I'll see you later, Maria.”

“Thanks for coming in,” she said, a little weakly. She watched Eliza leave and turned slowly to look at Alexander. He was now saying something in a low voice to John, smiling slightly. In any case, she wanted the full story.

  
Maria walked through the door like a woman on a mission. She was determined to do...something. That hot spike of jealousy she felt earlier had been eating at her all day. She wanted desperately to initiate something but was also becoming increasingly curious about what happened between Eliza and Alexander.

She was waiting on the couch with a bag of leftover croissants when Eliza got home, offing the contents immediately and pausing only until she sat down.

“So, what exactly happened between you and Alexander?” Maria asked lightly. Eliza sighed and took a bite of the pastry, chewing thoughtfully.

“We were together from the beginning of college until the first semester of senior year,” she began, then smiled faintly. “I...we were in love. I was sure that we were going to get married after school.”

“Oh?” Maria said, trying to pass for casual.

“Yes,” Eliza nodded. Her eyes hardened slightly. “Then I walked in on him...kissing John.”

“Oh my god,”Maria breathed. “That's dramatic.”

“Apparently they’d been doing that for a few months,” she explained. She looked sad as she continued, “I broke it off and I suppose Alexander and John stopped too, though I'm certain John would've liked it to continue.”

“That was a shitty thing to do,” Maria said, a little too heated. She couldn't even imagine how Alexander could hurt Eliza like that.

“It was,” Eliza said. “I was angry for a long time, but that was years ago. It's in the past.” She sighed and stood, already walking away. “I'm going to bed. Will you be joining me?” Maria nodded and followed. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria confronts Eliza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not completely pleased with how this came out but I wanted to get things moving. I might go back and edit the end but who knows.

It started two days ago. She had just barely woken up when she felt Eliza's arms stiffen around her. Then she sprung out of their bed before her alarm went off and nearly ran out of the room. Of course, Maria immediately squirmed out from under the covers and trailed after her, confused. She found Eliza leaning against the kitchen counter, staring intently at the marble surface.

"What's the matter?" Maria asked sleepily. Then Eliza did something she'd never seen before. She lied.

"Nothing," she said shortly. "I thought I was gonna be sick but I wasn't." Maria stared at her for a moment and tried to let it slide. She went back to bed.

When Eliza got home Maria noticed that she kept looking at her. It was odd, she was almost studying her as if she'd never seen her before. That night Eliza remained on her side of the bed, arms and legs kept entirely to herself. Maria tried not to feel too hurt, but the loss was a heavy ache in her chest.

This morning she had been distracted because she came to the only logical conclusion: Eliza had finally realized that she made a mistake. She had finally come to regret bringing a stranger into her home, a stranger who had too many issues for her to deal with. In the back of her mind Maria knew this didn't line up with Eliza's character but she could think of nothing else.

Maria was terrified–she had nowhere to go if Eliza really didn't want her anymore.

  
Despite Eliza’s best efforts, they would usually end up entangled in the morning, and it hurt her when Eliza would extract herself from the tangle of limbs. Maria was determined to understand the change.

  
Maria was waiting by the door when Eliza came in. She greeted her with a smile. Maria frowned back.

"Do you want me to leave?" Maria asked immediately. She had decided earlier that it would be better to be direct. Maybe there would be less pain that way. Eliza's eyes widened and she looked genuinely puzzled.

"Of course not!" Eliza said. "Why would you think that?" Maria crossed her arms.

"You don't touch me anymore, you keep looking at me like you've never seen me before," she began, trying to keep the accusation out of her voice. "I was thinking that maybe you thought you made a mistake, inviting me to live with you." She looked down, she couldn't bear to meet her eyes when she told her it was true. She didn't see Eliza approach until she was inches from her. She tipped her chin up with a finger.

"Maria, I don't want you to ever think that I don't want you here," she said firmly, before faltering a bit and moving back and turning away. "I've just had some things that I've been working out." Maria watched her eyes bounce nervously from the floor to her face.

"What kind of things?" Maria asked quietly. She couldn't, wouldn't dare to imagine what it could be, what she wanted so desperately for it to be.

Eliza stepped slowly back to face her, so close that she could see the fluttering of her long lashes. She watched her almost shyly. As if in slow motion, Eliza carefully placed her hands on her hips. Maria found herself being pulled even closer, and then her lips found Eliza's.

Her mind went blank–she could only feel soft lips on her own, hands slowly sliding up her waist, hear the quiet noise Eliza made in the back of her throat when she caught her bottom lip in her own. Her chest blossomed with warmth and her heart stuttered when Eliza deepened the kiss. She found her own arms snaking around Eliza's neck.

Maria has had plenty of kisses in her life–hot kisses, rough kisses, dirty kisses. Kissing Eliza was different. She was gentle and sweet and made Maria forget everything except for them. The world fell away the moment their lips had come together, tentatively. Soon it became a touch more desperate, their bodies pressed together and hands searched for better purchase. When Eliza caught her bottom lip between her own she couldn't help but sigh into it.

They broke away after a moment, minutes, a lifetime, and caught their breath together.

“So what exactly were you working out?” Maria asked after a while.

“I realized that I loved you,” Eliza said softly. Maria took her hand in her’s and smiled.

"I love you too," she heard herself saying. And she knew that she meant it.

 

......

 

Maria awoke once again to the familiar feeling of her lover's arms around her. She reveled at the thought. Her lover. Girlfriend. Eliza. She felt so safe and special and whole with Eliza.

It turned out that Eliza was a big fan of kissing Maria, whether it be a quick goodbye on the cheek or the slow brush of her lips against her knuckles. She especially like the light trails of kisses that she peppered along her collarbone. Maria was just as enthusiastic. She liked tracing her jaw, her cheekbones, her throat.

She was startled by a kiss to the back of her neck.

"Good morning," Maria said with a smile. She rolled over to face her. Eliza gazed at her as if she was something to be cherished, and she found that she was almost starting to believe it.

"I don't want to go to work," she told her with a groan.

"Stay home," Maria replied. "I have a day off." She reached across the bed and brushed a stray piece of hair from Eliza's eyes.

"That's very tempting," Eliza sighed. "Too tempting to pass up."

She stayed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria and Eliza get a house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set a few months after the previous chapter. Here's my attempt at a nice happy ending. To everyone who's read this, I hope you enjoyed it and thank you very much!

Maria gazed out through the new window and watched the trees sway in the gentle breeze. The branches were crowded with lush green leaves and seemed to dance in the dappled sunlight. She looked further down to the patch of lavender that she and Eliza had planted, beside her own group of peonies beside the mailbox. She pressed her fingertips lightly to the glass. It was warm.

She loved their new house, simply because it was all theirs. They had a driveway, a fence, and a tree that would be perfect for a tire swing. They even bought another car, Eliza had plenty of money and she wanted to make sure that they'd both be able to make it to work. Maria dared to let herself think of a future here, what kind of beautiful life they could build together.

Maria was currently covered in paint, wearing an old t-shirt and ripped jean shorts to beat the heat. It didn't matter that her bare legs were speckled with pale blue flecks. She had decided to start painting the walls of the dining room while Eliza bought groceries, and she didn't think there would be a better way to spend the weekend. Later John and Lafayette would be coming over, she had invited them to see their new place and was very proud of the progress they had made. It also turned out that just as Eliza and her had begun their relationship, John and Alexander had rekindled things. She was happy for them.

Even though she was by herself she didn't feel alone. There were so many unfamiliar sounds now that she was out of the city. Instead of horns blaring in traffic and people shouting in the streets, an impersonal cacophony of endless noise, she heard birds singing when she woke up in the morning. In the summer afternoon sun she could look out and see children playing. For the first time in her life home felt like home.

She couldn't wait to make memories here. It sounded childish to her own mind but the very thought still made her feel giddy. They had already taken so many pictures, of each other, together, of the flowers and their own front door. Maria hoped that she remembered their first night here, just two weeks ago, for the rest of her life. It was Eliza’s birthday and they had eaten cupcakes for dinner. Then they danced in the kitchen until the sun set and Maria never wanted that night to end. The warmth in her chest hadn't left since.

She felt like she was brand new, like delicate pink skin over a healed wound, like a flower blooming after a long winter. Everything was different and she was in love, with Eliza, with her life, even a little bit with herself, what she had become. She was finally happy.

She heard the door open and padded across the hardwood floors, smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too cheesy. Anyway Eliza's birthday actually is in August so at least one part of this self-indulgent piece is historically accurate. If anyone expresses interest I may write more of this universe, maybe adding parts of Maria and Eliza's future, or doing a little spin-off with Laurens and Hamilton. Who knows.


End file.
